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Sunday, October 15, 2006 @ 7:41 PM A week ago I got a phone call from the house owners, telling me that as far as they could tell I hadn't payed the depositum for the apartment yet. Which is true, because they hadn't mentioned one and I (inanely enough) hadn't read the contract properly. Of course I didn't have two months rent to put into their account, so I called mum to rant (not to borrow, I know she doesn't have that kind of money either). After giving me her sympathy, she told me to call my dad and if he couldn't help, call the bank. I hate calling my dad for money. We have an odd relationship, maybe because he and mum divorced when I was twelve: I visit him once in a while when I'm home in Bergen, either because he has invited me or because I've invited myself, and it's always very pleasant (but maybe a tad stiff). But we never call each other, only send an occasional text if there's something special. So each time I call him, it's because I need money, and I hate that it is that way. I hate for him to know it too, because I do love him and don't want him to think I'm so indifferent to him that I will only take contact when I need money. I've kept postponing the call because of this, and because mum keeps nagging me about calling him. I hate it when mum nag, because she will go on and on forever, and the result is that I've avoided answering my phone when she calls. Today, I realised I need to get a solution to my money trouble because the house owners won't stay patient forever. So I called dad, but he didn't answer. But at least I had tried, and that gave me a clear enough conscience to pick up the phone when mum called later on. And for the record, mum thinks I've just misplaced my phone for the umpteenth time. But that's not what ticked me off. She asked me to send her my roomies phone numbers by text, so that if she didn't get hold of me she could contact them. I reluctantly agreed, although I really didn't want to do it. Because mum has texted my boyfriend when she couldn't get hold of me, asking if he knew where I was. And she has a long history of calling/texting my friends (while I lived at home) if she needed to reach me but couldn't get a hold of me. But that's fine, I lived at home and of course I needed to answer to her. But now I've moved out, more than two years ago, and I'm going to be 21 years old in a week. Granted, that's not very old, but I'm of age and responsible for my own actions. What gives her the right to know where I am at any given time? It's none of her business! The text I sent did not only include the phone numbers, but also this: Can I ask of you something I maybe shouldn't tell my mother? Please do not misuse these numbers and restrict my freedom, remember I have moved out. And I'll promise I'll look after my phone more and get better at keeping in touch. Love you mom. Of course, I got a bad conscience for saying that to my mother, and sent her a message saying so. I got an answer saying she was on the phone with a friend and that she would reply later. But even though I got a guilty conscience for saying that to my mother, I still believe I am right. She needs to let go. And I, in return, need to keep in touch more. She's not entitled to it, per se, but she deserves no less. -Kerian ~
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