|
Thursday, September 14, 2006 @ 7:21 PM - Ben Harper, "My Beloved One" It's now my third and final year at this university, thank goodness. Having a long distance relationship with 9 hours travel time for 6 months is hard. Knowing that it's gonna stay that way for 12 more months? Excruciating. Yet somehow, I will endure it. We will endure it. If I had had a burning passion for my subject, I might think it was worth it and it would make it slightly easier. But as it is, I'm not really sure whether this is what I want, even though the subject fascinates me. But dropping out when you've only got one more year left, is mindnumbingly stupid. And doing it just to be with your boyfriend takes stupid to a new level, not to mention that it's pathetic. Don't misunderstand me, I love my boyfriend, but I'm not going to sacrifice my career for him, and in doing that, lay my entire future to waste. However, I have looked for solutions, asked around to see if maybe I could do this last year at the university in Bergen, where he lives. Unfortunately it's not possible and what it comes down to is that I have to stay here. So I stay here, and suffer. This is were my cynical side kicks in. "Oh, boo-hoo, poor me. It's pathetic to be so dependent on someone else." I've always prided myself in being independent, and suddenly I find that my happiness is in another persons hands. Me, who's always sneered at lovesick fools, and suddenly I'm one of them myself. Most of this scorn was maybe because I didn't really believe in love. Or rather, because I didn't believe (or dared to hope) that I'd find it for myself. It's not at all odd to be thinking that when all I had learned from my earlier escapades was that I apparently was King Midas' opposite (everything I touch turns into crap). I guess things change when you finally find love. -Kerian ~
0 comment(s) ~ #
___________
|
||||